Is Birth Control a Sin?

8 March 2007

Classic church doctrine since the time of Saint Augustine and before has condemned contraceptive practices as sinful. Is contraception really a sin, and if not, what types of birth control are acceptable for the Christian? This debate has taken on even greater significance with the recent controversy surrounding the Roman Catholic denunciation of contraceptives in poverty-stricken Africa, which some fear contributes to overpopulation, sexually transmitted disease, and perennially poor families.

Biblical Verses Used to Prohibit Contraceptives

By far the most common biblical story used to support the anti-contraceptive stance is account of Onan in the book of Genesis. According to the account:

“At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and lay with her; she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him.

Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death.

Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also.” [Genesis 38:1-10]

Many seem to consider this a knock-down case for the anti-contraception stance, but does this verse really demonstrate that contraception is sinful? It seems to me almost embarrassingly obvious that, in context, Onan’s sin was deliberately refusing to birth a son for his brother and his brother’s wife. There is no good reason to consider this passage as evidence that God explicitly condones contraceptive practices per se.

It is important also to realize the cultural context in which this story took place. After all, this story may seem strange to us in modern society, who would be shocked at the implication that we should have sex with our brother’s wife if she was without a child. But in ancient times, maintaining a family line was essential for survival (children took care of their parents in old age) and important to maintain honor. This is why Biblical characters are often disgraced and ashamed of being barren, and rejoice and praise God when He gives them a child (see Luke 1:24-25, Genesis 30: 22-24, and Genesis 21:1-7 for examples). Sons were needed to maintain the family line. This is why Onan had such a duty to fulfill in the first place.

Thus, it is quite clear that Onan’s sin was refusing to birth a son for his deceased brother. It remains possible that contraceptive practices are sinful, but the story of Onan certainly doesn’t prove such a thing.

Some will argue that the command to ‘be fruitful and multiply’ found in Genesis 1:28 argues against the use of contraceptives. However, at best this demonstrates that we have an obligation to have children, it does not prove that we should have as many kids as possible or that we should never use contraceptives. This is simply inconclusive.

Thus, it seems apparent that there are no clear instances where contraceptive practices are condemned in the Bible, and we should therefore be very skeptical of those who want to make the universal claim that birth control is wrong.

Other Arguments Against Contraceptives

Some claim that use of birth control is inherently disrespectful to the marriage union, it fails to take into account the fact that children are a blessing from God, and it separates procreation from sex (which is supposedly sinful). In addition to being speculative, these objections fail to show that contraception is always wrong. After all, some may decide to use birth control to stop from having more kids for the time being due to a financial situation or some other factor. Birth control does not necessarily entail that a couple never has kids, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to stop having kids. Obviously, a couple who use birth control within the confines of marriage are not implicitly demonstrating that they don’t believe children are a blessing from God. They may just not be ready yet, or they may already have ten children and be unable to support more.

Probably one of the most common arguments against birth control is that the Church has almost unanimously condemned it throughout history. However, this point only holds sway for Catholics who believe that church tradition is authoritative. Without such a prior commitment to church tradition, the unanimity of opposition to contraceptives is no argument against them, though we should take the views of the church’s leaders, and the evidence offered for them, into account.

There are also a slew of claims that birth control is bad for society. Supposedly, it increases abortion frequency, encourages premarital sex, leads to the spread of STDs, etc. I’m willing to grant all of this, but it clearly has no bearing on whether or not, at the foundational level, birth control is wrong. I am only contending that birth control is acceptable when it does not involve abortion and it is within the confines of a marriage. The fact that contraceptives have been misused outside of this context does not prove that contraceptives are wrong in and of themselves.

Finally, many claim that we should not use birth control because we should let God decide when we have children. Using contraceptives might interfere with His perfect will for us. Furthermore, it is better for us to trust God, and believe that he will provide for us financially and emotionally to handle as many children as we have naturally.

This objection makes the mistake of believing that God’s will is only achieved through natural causes, but can be ruined by human choices. In reality, God works through our choices to accomplish His will. Moreover, in most other areas of our life we recognize the need to make responsible choices rather than sitting back and relying on God to take care of us. Nobody waits around at home believing that God will just provide them with the amount of food that they need- they go to work, get a paycheck, and buy enough food to survive. In reality, God gives us the ability to make responsible choices for ourselves.

Arguments for Contraceptives in the Bible

Can we adduce any evidence in favor of birth control in the Bible? There are no direct verses in support, but, I believe that the Biblical testimony argues against the claim made by many opponents of birth control that it is inherently sinful to separate sex from procreation.

For example, Paul wrote;

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.” [1 Corinthians 7:3-5]

This verse clearly demonstrates that the purpose of marriage is not only for procreation. Paul tells us that we should not withhold from our spouses. Thus, it is not merely ok to have sex within marriage for pleasure, it is actually mandatory.

Moreover, I would argue that the entire book Song of Solomon argues against the idea that procreation is the only purpose of sex. I don’t think one could fairly read the book and conclude that God only gave us the gift of sex so that we can produce children.

Other Arguments in Favor of Contraceptives

There is another major problem with claiming that it is sinful to separate procreation from marital sex- what about couples who are infertile, either by old age or by physical limitations? Is it wrong for people who are infertile to have sex? Is it wrong for old people to have sex? Almost everyone has to admit that there is nothing morally wrong with infertile sex; in fact, most would think it morally repulsive to claim that such people should never have sex. Moreover, this would also conflict with Paul’s teaching about fulfilling marital duties.

Finally, sometimes there are very good moral reasons to use birth control. A couple who wants to limit the number of children they have because they can’t support more, either for financial reasons or because they want to be able to spend enough individual time with each child, should use birth control. Doing otherwise could harm the family as a whole or the current children in particular. This is not to say that all couples should limit themselves to a few children- this must be considered on a case by case basis. I have nothing against large families- in fact, I would probably be perfectly happy having 9 or 10 kids. Obviously, however, this isn’t for everyone, so for those couples who can’t support so many children, contraceptive use may be morally justified and even morally good.

This point becomes particularly relevant when we consider the case in Africa, where some Catholics discourage use of birth control. Many argue that this has worsened problems like the spread of STDs (especially AIDS) and created families with too many children to be supported with even bare minimal needs. While the specific cases may be debatable, these problems help highlight the possible relevance of the discussion of birth control for alleviating worldwide suffering.


There are no sound Biblical arguments against the use of birth control, nor are there any convincing extra-Biblical reasons to prohibit their use. The story of Onan, frequently used to demonstrate that birth control is immoral, must be ripped wildly out of context to be thought to have any relevance to the debate. The primary natural reasoning for avoiding birth control- that we should trust God to provide for our needs and decide the number of children we have- is based on the misconception that God cannot work His will through human choices (a point which we recognize in almost all other areas of our lives).

Since I believe that abortion takes the life of an innocent human being, any birth control methods which involve or have a risk of abortion of any kind is immoral. Yet, there are several responsible forms of birth control that can reasonably be used within the context of marriage. Couples should therefore feel free to decide for themselves whether, and when, use of contraceptives is appropriate and desirable.


  1. Very well done.

    Jayme    Mar 10, 12:38 PM    #
  2. /nod

    — Kathy    Apr 19, 12:03 AM    #
  3. Are you saying that a child destined to suffer a miserable life and death does not have the right to live at all because of his parents’ misfortune? Are big families only for the rich? If every mother new prior to conception that her child would suffer greatly in life and that she would have to witness that suffering, would you recommend that she not have the child? Thank God that a 14 year old Jewish girl out of wedlock, who was soon to be married to a poor Jewish carpenter, in a war torn land, did not choose to wait till things got better before she was generous enough to trust in God and bring our savior into this world or the very suffering that we are trying to avoid would have fallen on all mankind. God bless those women that know these are God’s children that he will provide for, for all eternity, not our children that we have only in time.

    — Craig    May 7, 10:56 AM    #
  4. Craig,

    I never said that a child ‘destined to suffer’ does not have the right to live. There is a clear difference between an actual child, which deserves protection and should not be aborted, and a ‘potential’ child that does not even exist. Moreover, if you are attempting to make an analogy between Mary’s obedience to God and the moral status of birth control, I think the connection is extremely weak. Mary was directly called to birth Jesus, whereas, presumably, this is not the case with the vast majority of women. God gives us the ability to make prudent decisions, including when it is best to have children.

    Kyle Deming    May 7, 05:57 PM    #
  5. Also, Mary conceived Jesus as a virgin She couldn’t decide whether or not she wanted to have the baby since it was in God’s plan.. Since everything happens for a reason, if God wanted us women to have children, then he would take that 1% chance that birth control doesn’t work, and use it to make us pregnant. I don’t believe abortions are right, but certainly birth control is. Without birth control in Africa many babies are born with AIDS and are destined to suffer and die.

    — GG    Jun 14, 11:28 AM    #
  6. Psalm 127:3

    Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

    or in the ESV:

    Psalm 127:3-5

    Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

    Clearly these verses say nothing of a child’s inherent value being conditional. Especially if one considers the terms under which and the conditions into which children of the day were born, it is laughable to knowingly prevent Almighty God from blessing one with children. Were one’s employer to come to them and say “Sir/Ma’am, I want to give you a raise and increases your position to one much more fruitful and advantageous amongst your peers”, would one ever consider saying to that man or woman; “Thank you, but I decline.” In the same way, how do we as insolent and endlessly depraved human beings claim right to gauge when we will receive what the Psalmist clearly states is a blessing from God. The greatest sins of man occur when he witlessly twists the Word of God or interprets it in his own light, giving the words there in (and by extension God Himself) the inclinations, ideals, thoughts, intentions, or personality which comes about through the sinful imagination of man, instead of simply viewing God’s Words on their own and paying heed to what they clearly state, before being subjected to the sinfully resourceful desires of our own hardened hearts.

    Great areas of Europe and even America (though to a lesser extent) are quickly becoming overrun by secularists, atheists, and new age false deists because firstly, Christian parenting is disgustingly lacking and between 75 and 88 percent of Christian youth have renounced it by their sophomore year in college, and secondly because Christian parents have accepted the common hatred of children, which has led even those who would claim true Christian belief to scorn the parents of a family with more than 2 or (on the condition that the first two children were the same gender and you wanted to try one more time) 3 children, while Muslims, for example, maintain a steady rate of an average five children per family, and given enough time will literally have bred them selves into the majority, while Christians will have continued to have an average 1.8 children per family; not even enough to replace the generation before, much less “be fruitful and multiply.” Oddly enough (sarcasm intended), these large families end up doing just fine because they are willing to make some of the selfless decisions required to raise a larger family. Namely, these sacrifices come in terms of the financial gains and material possessions of the parents. When two able bodied middle class Americans justify their decision to use birth control to prevent the blessing of children by saying that they simply “could not afford a child”. What they are really saying is, “we are unwilling to assume a certain level of material worth and gain which might be below what is regularly accepted as the “deserved” amount of personal possessions, and as a result we wish to tell God when and under what conditions He may provide this blessing in our life.”

    The self-justification of God’s Word continues on in this light, but I leave the reader to reevaluate the Words of the Spirit so kindly granted us by a loving God, and through prayer and close study of the untainted selfless Scripture consider their current state of mind.

    Frank    Aug 16, 06:03 PM    #
  7. Frank,

    I agree with you that the value of a child’s life is not conditional, and I hope you don’t think that is what I’m arguing.

    You lament the idea of Christians twisting God’s Word and using it to mean what they want it to mean, and rightly so. Yet, it appears to me that if anyone is guilty of such a thing, it is you. The verses you cite have absolutely nothing to do with the ethics of birth control; it is only by making certain inferences that you are able to justify your position. That’s all fine, there is nothing wrong with trying to justify a position on the basis of reasonable inferences. But you can’t claim that I am “witlessly twisting” the Word of God to support birth control within the confines of marriage, since the texts you cite do not demonstrate that birth control is, by nature, immoral.

    Moreover, I agree with you that Christian families who can reasonably support many children probably should have many children (though I think it is too strong to claim that, biblically, they are morally required to do so.) Indeed, I hope to have a large family. But these points do nothing to reverse the arguments I offered for the permissibility of birth control.


    Kyle Deming    Aug 16, 08:29 PM    #
  8. When referring to 1 Cor. 7:3-5, you said it was mandatory for the man to please his wife. In verse 6, Apostle Paul clearly says it is a concession, not a command…

    Let’s hear what the protestant fathers have to say about Onan.


    ” Onan must have been a malicious and incorrigible scoundrel. [Genesis 38:9, 10].This is a most disgraceful sin. It is far more atrocious than incest and adultery. We call it unchastity, Yes a Sodomitic sin. For Onan goes in to her; that is, he lies with her and copulates; and, when it comes to the point of insemination, spills the semen, lest the woman conceive. Surely at such a time the order of nature established by God in procreation should be followed. Accordingly, it was a most disgraceful crime to produce semen and excite the woman, and to frustrate her at that very moment … He committed an evil deed. Therefore, God punished him…” (Luther, Martin Luthers Works, Volume Seven)


    “Besides [Onan] ... preferred his semen to putrify on the ground, rather than to beget a son in his brother’s name….It is a horrible thing to pour out seed besides the intercourse of man and woman. Deliberately avoiding the intercourse, so that the seed drops on the ground, is double horrible. For this means that one quenches the hope of his family, and kills the son, which could be expected, before he is born. ...Moreover he thus has, as much as was in his power, tried to destroy a part of the human race. When a woman in some way drives away the seed out the womb, through aids, (contraception) then this is rightly seen as an unforgivable crime. Onan was guilty of a similar crime, by defiling the earth with his seed, ....” (Calvin, John Commentary on Genesis)


    “Onan, though he consented to marry the widow, yet to the great abuse of his own body, of the wife he had married, ... he refused to raise up seed unto his brother. Those sins that dishonour the body are very displeasing to God, and the evidence of vile actions. Observe, the thing which he did displeased the Lord—And it is to be feared, thousands, especially of single persons, by this very thing, still displease the Lord, and destroy their own souls. ” (Wesley, John Commentary on Genesis)

    James    Nov 1, 12:40 PM    #
  9. James,

    Paul’s statement that he is offering a ‘concession, not a command’ is probably referring to the whole discussion of marriage in the passage. Paul clearly prefers singleness, so he is pointing out that he does not ‘command’ marriage and all that goes along with it. But this does not mean that we are free to follow or not follow the directive to please our spouse once we are inside the covenant of marriage. But even if you are correct and the directive to sexually please one’s spouse is “optional” (according to Paul), then clearly it is still morally good for us to do it. Otherwise, why would Paul say it at all?

    The Protestant fathers you quote are all guilty of extrapolating beyond the text to meet their conclusions.

    Wesley seems to make the correct conclusion when he says,

    “Onan, though he consented to marry the widow, yet to the great abuse of his own body, of the wife he had married, ... he refused to raise up seed unto his brother.”

    The key point here is that Onan’s action was abusive to his wife (who wanted a son) and his brother (who needed a son to carry on his line). Nothing that any of these men say justifies inferring from the account that contraception is immoral.


    Kyle Deming    Nov 7, 12:16 PM    #
  10. There is a short book by Randy Alcorn addressing the issue of the pill being used as a contraceptive that also enters into the ethical debate. The book is titled: “Does the Birth Control Pill cause Abortions?”. What this book adds to the debate is not merely if contraceptives are used, but also what type of contraceptives are ethical. Alcorn, a pastor who did pre-marital counseling had been instructing couples to use the pill, but in a pursuit to be better informed about the scientific evidence about the pill, he researched and wrote this short book.

    Essentially he found that in order to avoid evidence that the pill causes abortions, the pharmaceutical companies and doctors in the 70’s changed the definition of when life starts: is it when the egg is fertilized, or is it when the fertilized egg implants in the uterus?

    The ethical issue to be discussed is the use of this form of contraceptive. One of the functions of the pill is to make the uterus a hostile environment for a fertilized egg to implant. If life starts when the sperm fertilizes the egg, then one of the purposes of the pill is to abort a fertilized life-given egg.

    Anyways, it is worth a read to enter into the ethics of the use of contraceptives.


    byron    Dec 23, 07:57 PM    #
  11. Kyle,

    Very well written and informative. I recently had questions on this topic, and you seem to have answered them very well. It just doesn’t seem right to me that birth control would be wrong, but I didn’t feel I had a way to argue that logically. God bless.

    Jon    May 16, 11:16 PM    #
  12. Got a question regarding Onan – my Catholic brother maintains that he was struck down not for disobedience to God – but rather for the spilling of semen (in arguing against contraception). He points to the fact that not taking your brothers widow was public humiliation (not death) see Deut 25:7-10 which clearly states just that. What would you say to this?

    Chris Trulin    Jun 26, 07:02 AM    #
  13. There are some great points here. I’m still undecided about where I stand on this issue, but I’m grateful for your input, Kyle.

    I especially like what you said here:

    “This objection makes the mistake of believing that God’s will is only achieved through natural causes, but can be ruined by human choices. In reality, God works through our choices to accomplish His will.

    That’s a powerful argument that I haven’t heard applied to this issue.

    Still, I’d be interested in finding a response to the question in the quote above by Chris.

    Thanks for taking on these discussions.

    Marshall    Jun 26, 02:51 PM    #
  14. God has everything happen for a reason. If He did not want a baby born, He would make it so. Great article, by the way.

    Mikel    Oct 28, 09:33 AM    #
  15. I’ve left this alone for a long time, but I have returned after my frustrations with this past election dealing with life issues. Do you find it odd that no orthodox Christian supported any type of artificial birth control before the 1900’s?

    The core of the issue comes down to the beliefs on the purpose of sex: procreation vrs pleasure.

    Pope John Paul II actually went to the point to say if a husband looks at his wife with a lustful eye, he has committed adultery. Having sex for pleasure, while eliminating the possibility of life, is reacting to the physical feeling only, while eliminating the consequences.

    While using a combination between Bonhoeffer’s teaching on “the departure of the origin” and a CS Lewis’ analogy I will attempt to show how JPII was right on.

    Sex is necessary for survival, just as food is. If one eats beyond the point of being full, he is considered a glutton because the purpose of the act was fulfilled. He was full, therefore, he should stop eating or he is departing from the origin of the act.

    The purpose of sex is for two to become one flesh. Two cannot become one if you eliminate the most essential part of the act. Ergo, if people have sex while eliminating the possibility of life, they are committing adultery.

    — james    Nov 22, 08:55 AM    #
  16. InvitationToVisit:

    The Christian freedom to use birth control –

    Online Bible Examination Of The Subject

    A Look At Onan And Birth Control


    Explores – What The New Covenant of Christ did for personal liberty.

    Manning    Jan 13, 01:37 AM    #
  17. Dear Friend,

    Onan died because he wasted his ejaculation, for he reserved the right to refuse impregnating Shuah (see Deuteronomy 25:7).

    tyrone ferrara    Feb 20, 06:33 PM    #
  18. Chris –

    “my Catholic brother maintains that he was struck down not for disobedience to God – but rather for the spilling of semen (in arguing against contraception).”

    This is not correct. Onan was put to death because of disobedience. However, the catalyst for his death was the spilling of his seed, which was the means in which he was disobedient.

    — james    Jun 4, 07:39 PM    #
  19. This article is very one sided. You never once mention that in biblical times there was no birth control. Thus when a couple did not want children, they didn’t have sex. This is God’s way. Anything else is exploiting procreation for pleasure instead of it’s true purpose.

    Birth control now destroys our environment, the pill is found in our water supply, meaning we are now preventing ANIMALS from reproducing and destroying species/environments. The pill destroys women’s bodies as well, many get older to have bone loss deficiency. In the mean time birth control has made it even easier to cheat, be promiscuous, and causes strains in marriages when one side wishes to abstain. If the birth control fails a child is created which makes the opportunity for abortions or emergency pills. It causes strain on the relationship when a child was not wanted. Then if the woman decides to have the children it makes for an unstable environment for that child. Sometimes the mother will neglect that child because “it was a mistake” which is so untrue since sex = procreation. There are no mistakes if you are participating in the act.

    Before birth control couples would abstain when they did not want children. If you truly love your spouse then you could go without sex. However if you demand it and say you “need” it then it shows you are simply doing it because you are selfish. You are using their body for yourself which is immoral. This once again puts a strain on the relationship. I have seen husbands who demand their wives have sex with them and thus the wife does so in order to please him. She does not want to but she feels if she does not she will lose her husband to another.

    You think you ‘religious’ people would follow Jesus and love unconditionally but no, you have your demands to make YOU happy. You have to EXPLOIT sex and you call it “love.” Disgraceful. And all you need to say is “if i did not have birth control would i have sex?” Chance’s are most would not take the risk.

    Birth control in Eden would be the fig/apple. It’s merely a temptation leading into sin, you either take it or you don’t.

    You can disagree but at least say it is just because you want to get off, not because it’s “okay to do.” Stop doing your own will, do God’s.

    One final thing, if God REALLY wanted you to have sex for recreation he would have made it so NATURALLY from day one. But guess what? He did not. There is no kids: on/off switch.

    I think it is well known on Earth more people are concerned about their own selfish pleasures and not about their salvation. Thus most of you will never enter the gates. Mathematically speaking only 2% will ever enter. How sad but that is what is deserved.

    christina    Jul 12, 12:00 PM    #
  20. Wow Christina, I really feel sorry for you.

    Stew    Jul 15, 09:00 PM    #
  21. Christina –

    In your reply, you assume that not having sex in order to avoid having children is “God’s way,” but you provide no reason to think that’s true. Do you have any Biblical support for this position?

    A large portion of your reply deals with the negative consequences of the birth control pill. However, the pill is only one method of birth control – what about condoms? It may be the case that the pill is harmful to society and our environment, but at best this means we should not use or advocate the use of this particular form on birth control.

    You also reiterate the incorrect assumption that sex is “for” procreation and not “for” pleasure. This is a mistake that I addressed in the article, with specific verses that support my position. Moreover, your response reveals, in my opinion, a very low view of sex and the place of sex within a healthy marriage. It is true that we should not force our spouse into having sex by claiming that we “need” it and exploit them – that’s not the point at all. Reread Paul, who’s quoted in the article, and you’ll see that sex is about mutual giving, not mutual taking. In a healthy marriage, spouses want to have sex with their partner not just because it feels good, but because the spouse wants to make the other fulfilled. And if you really think sex for pleasure is so bad, then your real beef is with St. Paul, who declared in God’s Word that spouses should not withhold sex from one another, except by mutual consent for prayer.

    Finally, in your reply you seem to be pointing the finger at me a bit, saying things like “it is just because you want to get off.” I am not sure if you are attempting to personalize this, but I can assure you that such statements do not apply to me. I am an unmarried virgin, and if my true goal was to “get off” the last thing I’d be doing is writing an article about the permissibility of birth control on my Christian apologetics website.

    James –

    You wrote this a while ago, but I would like to say a few words in response. Once again, your reply makes the mistake of assuming that sex ‘just for pleasure’ is a bad thing. What verse in the Bible even implies this, let alone states this position? Looking at your own wife with a ‘lustful eye’ simply means looking at your wife and having a desire to engage in sex. There is simply no way this is a sin at all, and calling it adultery is just an abuse of the term. Having sexual desire for your spouse is a great good, and turning it into a perverse act is seriously misguided. Again, I would challenge anyone to find such a view of marriage or sex mentioned anywhere in the Bible.

    Moreover, this view seems to have a lot of ridiculous consequences. Do couples who are infertile sin by having sex, or by “lusting” after one another? Are we allowed to have sex with our spouses while they are pregnant? After all, there is zero chance of a baby being produced when a woman is in the middle of her pregnancy. According to your view (and against Paul’s) we should withhold from sex for the nine months of pregnancy. That your view implies this absurdity is further confirmed when we take a close look at your “gluttony” analogy – in exactly the same way, once your wife is pregnant, the “purpose of the act has been fulfilled” (according to you) and to engage in sex further is sin. Finally, even most Catholics, to my knowledge, affirm that ‘family planning’ is ok – which basically involves withholding from sex when you are most likely to have a child. Why wouldn’t this classify as adulterous?

    Lastly, I just don’t see the justification for your claim that “Two cannot become one if you eliminate the most essential part of the act.” Who said that having babies is the most essential part of the act? I certainly grant that it is a major component, but you have not even argued for this strong stance. Given the fact that the vast majority of sexual encounters DON’T produce a baby, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious claiming that this is the primary or only reason God created sex? Even if it was the essential component, how do you know that birth control eliminates the possibility of two becoming one flesh? And once again I must press the point – what about older couples or infertile couples? Can they become one flesh by joining together in the sexual act?

    Once again, I would like to clarify that I love kids, and in fact most people think I’m crazy because I want at least 5 or 6. Indeed, children are one of God’s greatest blessings and gifts and we should certainly be thankful for them. However, the fact remains that there is no clear Biblical condemnation of non-abortive birth control, and so I think we do no justice to the Word of God by pretending that it does.



    Kyle Deming    Jul 17, 07:27 PM    #
  22. Hi there,

    Great article!

    I am getting married in less than a month and so far have considered birth control that doesn’t kill life like the pill as legitimate.

    However, my greatest struggle currently has mainly to do with the attitude behind birth control.

    And just so there is no misunderstanding, I do believe that sex is a wonderful blessing of God belonging exlusively into marriage and that recreation and procreation are both vital reasons behind it.

    However, what I currently struggle with is that at least in my mind, I am saying to God: I can’t wait to experience this great gift of sex in marriage and while I do want to have the pleasure, I do not want to have the child. At least not for right now. I love your design for sex in marriage but I’d love to stick with the pleasure aspect and not deal with the possible child aspect for now. Thus – at least in my mind – I rebel against God’s original design, which I take to be pleasure plus the possibility of a child.

    I am not worried about frustrating God’s plans and I do believe that God works through means – we might even get pregnant while being on birth control like so many other couples – but God’s sovereignty hardly is an argument for the legitimacy of my actions. God accomplishes his purposes even IN SPITE of my sin and not because of it.

    Again my main hesitation at this point is the motivation and attitude behind using birth control.

    Using an aspirin against head aches or building a bridge in order to cross a lake somehow don’t make for a convincing analogies as pertaining to birth control – at least not in my eyes.

    Any thoughts on this issue would be greatly appreciated – from both sides! Thank you.


    — Alex    Jul 23, 08:50 AM    #
  23. Why not embrace the Biblical doctrine of surrender. Childbearing is an issue of faith vs faithlessness.How dare we assume the right to reject any gift God offers. How dare we to asume we might even begin to understand ourselves or God’s plan better than He.

    What is your position on masturbation? Based on the authors arguments, matsurbation would also be very acceptable. So let’s enjoy.

    Your logic effectively removes all boundaries that are Holy and Good. Be careful.

    Ask God for his will and guidance.Then submit to His plan.

    Charles    Aug 2, 09:32 PM    #
  24. Wow, this is certainly a controversial article! Before continuing to respond to some objections here, I would like to say straightforward that I am by no means hard-line committed to this view. As a matter of personal preference, I don’t know if I even will ever want to use birth control – after all, I’d like to have at least 6 kids! As far as the moral import goes, I think this issue pales in comparison to other issues of the day, particularly abortion. However, I do believe that many people are falsely claiming that the Bible condemns birth control. This is simply false in my view, and we do an injustice to God and His word when we pretend otherwise.


    What exactly is the “Biblical doctrine of surrender?” That sounds like it was made up. I think I know what you mean…you are saying that we should surrender to God’s will and have a child if that’s what happens. I already addressed this objection in some detail in the article and you haven’t responded – ‘surrendering’ to God’s will does not mean that we make no proactive decisions. God accomplishes His purposes in part through our proactive actions.

    You claim that childbearing is an issue of “faith vs. faithlessness.’ To be honest, you are really stretching here. In my defense of the permissibility of birth control, I offered very specific Biblical, theological, and philosophical arguments that I think support my position. In response, the vast majority of critics have failed to even address these arguments, and have instead relied upon vague statements like “it’s an issue of faith vs. faithlessness.” Such speculations hardly stand up in the face of a Biblical and theological case, such as the one I’ve tried to build.

    Just admit it, there isn’t any direct Biblical evidence that birth control is morally wrong. Now, that doesn’t mean the issue is case closed, we still have to consider other arguments. But it does mean that we should be careful before slinging around claims that users of birth control are being “faithless,” “sinful,” or “self-centered.” This strikes me as repeating the fault of the Pharisees, who actually ADDED ON to God’s law and condemned those who didn’t follow their man-made rules. Why shouldn’t I conclude that you too are simply adding on to God’s Word?

    Concerning masturbation, the problem here is that it usually (perhaps invariably) involves lust. Masturbation is wrong because of the lust aspect in my opinion.

    You claim that my “logic effectively removes all boundaries that are Holy and Good.” Wow, strong statement! Especially considering that I endorse sex only within a monogamous marital union – is that not a “Holy and Good” boundary?


    You raise a good point here. Intention has a lot to do with morality, and even if something is technically “ok” it can still be a sin if we do it for the wrong motives.

    Here, I would take a look at the motivations you have for considering the use of birth control. Is it for entirely selfish purposes like growing your wealth (kids are expensive!). That probably wouldn’t be a justified reason. Is it because you want to wait till you are financially able to raise children effectively? That could actually be a good motive. Perhaps your goal is to take a few years growing closer to your wife before raising kids? I don’t see how that is a sinful motivation, after all, it might actually improve your parenting ability a bit later in life.

    I’m no pastor, but I suppose that is my best advice. Good luck in your marriage!



    Kyle Deming    Aug 4, 04:19 PM    #
  25. Kyle,

    Thanks for the article. I appreciate your open and loving attitude.

    I agree with you that we cannot say definitively say that scripture prohibits the use of contraception. However, I don’t see how your sex during pregnancy or sex in old age analogies can be considered in your argument because they are both examples of natural means where God and/or nature does not allow conception. They are not artificial means by which we are choosing not to allow conception. Thus, having sex in these examples (within marriage) is perfectly reasonable and not sinful. It seems to me that the pleasure of sex is secondary to producing new life. I don’t think the two should be pitted against each other. The pleasure and the oneness aspects are like the icing on the cake and the actual cake (or substance) is procreation or the openness to the possibility of life. I liked your comments to Alex about the motivations behind the use of birth control. The Catholic Church validates these health and financial motivations for preventing pregnancy while endorsing natural means via Natural Family Planning.

    The real issue or fear for my wife and I is the risk of conception in later stages of life where birth defects or endangerment to the life of the mother becomes a legitimate concern.

    Also, I haven’t seen you respond to the two comments about Deut 25…why?

    Ramiro    Aug 8, 01:33 PM    #
  26. I like what Kyle said about the Pharisees. Catholics like to add rules as well, they also disobey what the word says.
    Maybe we should read the bible and ask God about what we should do.

    Casey (I'm a guy)    Sep 21, 05:12 AM    #
  27. What a general, uncharitable and ignorant thing to say Casey. At least try to be a little more respectful and maybe give some back up to what you’re trying to assert.

    Ramiro    Oct 14, 05:48 AM    #
  28. I got married at the age of 19 with the attitude that God controls birth and it is a sin to use any forms of birth control. Well nine months later my beautiful daughter was born…she turned a year and 5 months old and my second daughter was born. During this time I lost 20 lbs (I weighed 90 lbs) and suffered deadly migraines to the point that I could not care for my babies. I have no family that lives near by so I was on my own. I finally got really angry at the God and that His will can be so horrible for me. I couldn’t enjoy my kids because just taking care of their basic needs was taking up all my time and energy. When will I teach them to about Daniel and the lions or Samson and his strength? How will I put them on the right path while they are young so they will never be swayed away? My pastor says that our goal is to multiply Gods kingdom but if I have 17 kids and they are all not Christian because I didn’t have time to teach them anything well I guess I just multiplied the wrong kingdom! I want to use the Natural Family Planning just to have some space between kids to enjoy them and teach them how to be in the world but not of it. My pastor calls that “out-smarting God”.

    1. Example #1: There is a wife in our church that has two kids, first was born at 8 months and the second was born at 6 months. Can it be Gods will for her to give birth every year to premature children?
    2. Example #2: My friend Amanda has two children as well. After each child she has post-pardum depression to the point that she had to be hospitalized for attempting to hurt the children. She ended up having her tubes tied. Is she sinning? Is it God’s will for her to keep having kids and possible hurting them?
    3. Example #3: An elderly woman that recently passed away was diagnosed with epilepsy when she first got married. She has seizure 4-6 times a day. She gave birth to 8 kids. All have been dropped from her arms as tiny infants because she doesn’t know when she will have an attack. Thank God all of them survived and are perfectly healthy. But she told me that she was not allowed to hold any of them unless she was on the bed.
    Yes, every family has a different situation so that is why God did not make it a commandment to have kids until you either die or get too old. Kids are a result of sex. Just like God gives us wisdom how to plant a garden and reap vegetables he gives us wisdom when to have sex to either get pregnant or when to avoid sex to not get pregnant.

    Alyssa    Nov 22, 06:42 PM    #
  29. Sensible, well written article. I agree on most everything you said. I quote Ellen White: (well-known Adventist author) “Before increasing their family, they should take into consideration whether God would be glorified or dishonored by their bringing children into the world. They should seek to glorify God by their union from the first, and during every year of their married life. God has given you reason, and He requires you to use it. In view of the responsibility that devolves upon parents, it should be carefully considered whether it is best to bring children into the family. Has the mother sufficient strength to care for her children? And can the father give such advantages as will rightly mold and educate the child? How little is the destiny of the child considered! The gratification of passion is the only thought, and burdens are brought upon the wife and mother which undermine her vitality and paralyze her spiritual power. In broken health and with discouraged spirits she finds herself surrounded by a little flock whom she cannot care for as she should. They have no right to bring children into the world to be a burden to others. Have they a business that they can rely upon to sustain a family so that they need not become a burden to others? If they have not, they commit a crime in bringing children into the world to suffer for want of proper care, food, and clothing.”
    -The Adventist Home

    — Azzi    Dec 17, 03:53 PM    #
  30. I would actually expect a cult to have distorted views of the sexual act and its purpose, so no surprise there. I would challenge you to think about this issue a little further. Here’s a great book on the subject I just got done reading: Bryan C. Hodge, “The Christian Case against Contraception: Making the Case from Historical, Biblical, Systematic and Practical Theology and Ethics” (Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2010).

    Joe    Dec 28, 12:10 PM    #
  31. If we agree that sex has two main purposes, unitive and procreative, or babies and bonding, then an over indulgence in the act of sex while abandoning a core purpose is morally disordered. This is why the parallel to eating is so effective. When an act is outside of its natural intention it is simply disordered.

    What verse in the Bible says that everything about our Christian lives should be in the Bible? Could you show me a verse that says married couples can use contraceptives?

    Could you explain how the lustful eyes of the married man are different to that of the single man? Because a man is married to a woman he is then allowed to think of her as an object???

    The problem with contraceptives are that it is against natural law. Natural defects such as infertility or understanding the rhythm of a woman’s cycle is in no way a disorder to Gods intentions. Contraception is using an unnatural method to prevent the natural from happening. Also, the Catholic Church is very clear that NFP is not intended to be a substitution for procreation, but a natural means to be responsible parents without abandoning the nature of sex.

    To comment further on Deut. 25: (Taken from

    Gen. 38:8-10 – Onan is killed by God for practicing contraception (in this case, withdrawal) and spilling his semen on the ground.

    Gen. 38:11-26 – Judah, like Onan, also rejected God’s command to keep up the family lineage, but he was not killed.

    Deut. 25:7-10 – the penalty for refusing to keep up a family lineage is not death, like Onan received. Onan was killed for wasting seed.

    Here are two two quotes from a second century Christian:“Because of its divine institution for the propagation of man, the seed is not to be vainly ejaculated, nor is it to be damaged, nor is it to be wasted” Clement of Alexandria, The Instructor of Children 2:10:91:2 (A.D. 191).

    “To have coitus other than to procreate children is to do injury to nature.” Clement of Alexandria, The Instructor of Children 2:10:95:3 (A.D. 191).

    James    Jan 10, 12:24 PM    #
  32. You talk about using contraception while in marriage to prevent children that you cannot support, be it emotionally, financially, etc. However, if you are not ready to have kids, why are you getting married? No one is forcing you to get married before you are able to support a family.

    This was a large reason why there has historically been a large age difference between the husband and wife; they would wait to get married until the husband was old enough and successful to support as many children as he ended up having. If you get married fresh out of college, without a good paying job, then of course you will feel like you can’t support a lot of kids, and will feel obliged to use birth control. If people would be patient about sex, work hard, and wait until they are able to support children, then you wouldn’t have any rationale for using birth control aside from a simple “I don’t want kids right now”, which is putting your desires ahead of God’s natural plan for life.

    Ben    May 20, 01:29 PM    #
  33. The people of the old testement had to have used contraceptives. If they didn’t they would have had like 60 children per family. Take it that a woman could get pregnant twice a year, this means that if she got married when she was 20 then by age 50 she’d have 60 kids. I know that they must have had sex every week. This means that she would have had the opportuinity to get pregnent at least twice a year. I don’t think that they would maintain abstinence as husband and wife. Instead they had to have used a method of birth control in order that they wouldn’t have any kids. Jewish families would only have like 3 to 6 kids; so does this mean that the parents only had sex 3 to 6 times. Definately not! The use of contrecptives is the responsible choice. God knows that having too many children would be irresponsible of us.

    Israel    Jun 30, 08:53 AM    #
  34. Onan was punished for unfairly using his sister-in-law and not giving her a child in lieu of his brother. Let’s face it, Onan probably used her like that because she was probably attractive and the longer she wasn’t pregnant, the longer he could do that. He was using her as if she were a concubine. He abused her, trashed his own marriage bed, and dishonored his brother. I have a question of my own. Why do human females have 12 menstrual cycles a year, but most animals have only 1? We can’t have 12 babies a year, so why?

    Esther    Sep 15, 09:31 PM    #
  35. The problem I see with some of the arguments against this writing is that the arguers state issues that are more about the choices of individuals versus simply the morality of contraceptive. If a man cheats and uses a condom, is it the condoms’ fault? No, it is the man’s for making such a choice. I understand that even though contraceptives make being adulterous easier, it should not excuse us from taking responsibility for our sins. Having much food here in America makes being a glutton easier, so should we ration food? No. Instead we should allow free will as our Father does and stop trying to babysit everyone by making their choices for them.

    Michael    Oct 24, 05:35 AM    #
  36. It doesn’t seem that Deut. 25 7-10 applies in this situation. The Jewish law, in this example, seems to be for self governance and enforcement of laws, human to human. In the example of Onan, scripture states that God killed him. A few sentences earlier, we’re told that Onan’s brother was killed by God, simply because he was wicked in the Lord’s sight. Onan wasn’t brought before the elders as far as I see, making it a matter of Jewish law enforcement. I agree that it’s glaringly obvious that Onan’s sin was denying his former brother’s wife a vitally needed and much desired son, yet still using her for sex. Can we ALL agree that Onan’s greatest punishment was still public humiliation, as prescribed in Deut. (for those who don’t perpetuate a deceased brother’s line)? Here we are, thousands of years later, talking about the embarrassing details of his sex life…

    Nathan    Nov 20, 09:25 PM    #
  37. sex within a marriage -for whatever reason is not sinful.

    perhaps you should read the song of solomon which speaks of the joys of sex within a marriage.
    God made sex for marriage, he made it fun and pleasurable to strengthen the bond in the marriage.. seriously.. people who feel sex is dirty even when they are married have no true understanding of the bible or God.. or marriage for that matter

    Chandra    Dec 31, 01:16 AM    #
  38. Kyle,

    Thank you so much for writing this article, it has helped me out very much. I have been arguing about the “immorality” of birth control with my oldest neice for quite some time now (she is 15). I actually live with her because I am living with my sister and her family while I attend college. Anyways, although my neice and I are very close friends, we somehow seem to fight quite often, and this subject sometimes crops up in our little “dicsussions”. She insists that sex within a marriage without the possibility of procreation is disgusting and wrong. I had her read this article and she has decided to reconsider her stance, so I just wanted to say thanks!

    Martha    Feb 3, 10:51 AM    #
  39. No problem Martha, I’m glad you found the article helpful. Let me know if you’ve got any questions about it!

    All the best.

    Kyle Deming    Feb 3, 11:58 AM    #
  40. I did a full two-post series on the use of birth control within a Christian marriage. Though I used the pill for some time, further information has since changed my personal opinion. (Though I grant others the right to decide for themselves.)

    Here is my layman’s summary of my understanding of how the pill works.

    1st-Time Mommy    Feb 22, 09:48 AM    #
  41. I have been reading this article for the past two hours now and I have found it very fascinating. I have recently been called to the office of prophet, and in this journey I have come to understand how “strange” the Holy Spirit can be!! Strange in the sense that many times Gods way can be very confusing to our minds. We as human beings understand things based on our natural experiences. Theses experiences are very important to us simply because we live in the natural world. But as Christians when does the spiritual experience and realities matter? We are to pray and ask God for ALL guidance in all things, regardless of our religious or scientific position. If our God in heaven has instructed you to use birth control, use it; If he has not, then don’t use it. I love that each person has been able to express how they feel, but emotional feeling alone has stopped many of us from obeying God. When God first called me as a prophet, I had to step forward in faith, with-out the aid of my pastor!! Oh,I was terrified, but my obedience was more important then respecting the “tradition” and order of the church, and even the written word of God. Don’t get me wrong, the church, and the Bible are of God, but complete allegiance to one, without FULL obedience to God is foolish and death to ones spirit. I know that God has a timing for the birth of children, just like when he calls us to our respective callings. Within these callings God has used our natural AND spiritual world in order to keep us from moving too quickly into the things that even HE has ordained for us. God knows that we can be so spiritual, that we forget that HE put us here on this planet to enjoy the fullness of the natural earth. HE will allow many natural things to subdue us, in order to continue to raise us, to the day of our spiritual birthing. I say this because using birth control is not an un-godly act. Who has allowed man to make it in the first place?! GOD has! Remember saints, God already knows the measure of your hearts, and what you intend to do with your bodies, in regards to sex and future children. Don’t get caught up in debating each other.( even though many of these arguments are very well argued and fascinating!) Get caught up in obeying what God is saying to YOU about your children and your bodies. God speaks specifically, and His spirit is exacting! He knows what our bodies need, and what our destiny is, and debating over the letter of the word brings death to the spirit within you. What ever form of birth control God has command for you or your spouse to use, then USE IT! Be it prayer, or medicine, which ever one he tells you to use, is for YOU, and it is your measure of faith and obedience. Their are heights to faith and obedience just like there are heights in heaven, and even heights of love. Remember that we can not see all sin, unless God, and ONLY God reveals it. He will reveal it by His Spirit, for the exact need and situation. For example, we all are Americans, yet we add to the financial dominance of corrupt corporations. Does that mean we will stop buying the items we need, and even some of the things we want? The very oil that we use to drive our nice cars, and fuel our homes, and power our electricity is stolen and taken by force through the act of war. Are we going to stop using these products because of how they were given to us in forms of thievery and faithlessness? If that is the case, should I not trust in the doctor and only wait on the Lord for an answer? Should I not drive my vehicle because the oil in it has been acquired through selfish means? If this was the case, then everything we do and have would have to be changed and reformed because we CAN NOT escape from the stain of sin! But oh let us PRAISE GOD for the hope, and Help in the name Jesus, that we have a way out! God new this age of medicine and faith would come. He new that we would have to mix prayer, and doctor visits, and he has blessed both because he has made both! The scriptural proof of what God is saying to you is the right evidence to look for. But the ultimate evidence is what the Living God is saying and doing in your life. My wife of 2 years has been using birth control, because God has told us to do so, and in obedience we will do so, until he says stop. Saints, listen to what the holy spirit is saying to you about your sex life, and family life within your marriages. He is the first and final answer! Everyone of us can not start form the same place of understanding, but through Jesus we all will have the identical fruits of our labor- blessed and Holy children of God!

    Carlos Edmunds    May 28, 08:22 PM    #
  42. (I appoligise in advance for any spelling mistakes) Everyone here seems to assume that pleasure and babies are the only reasons for sex. They are both wonderful and important but I do not believe they are the entirety.

    Some translations of the bible (and as far as I am aware the hebrew) say in genesis chapter four that adam knew his wife and she became pregant (the NIV translates it as lay with). Also the camparason is made between marriage (and the wedding day) and christs return/eternity (ephesians 5:25-33, revelation 22:17 and possibly 21:1-3 as given the names on the foundations and the doors which are the appositles and 12 tribes it may be refering to God’d people, and also some of Jesus’ parables refering to eternity as a wedding feast. there is another reference some where I think it is in corinthians but i am not sure) you may argue that I am taking too much from these verses that is fine I am meerly pointing out a possiblity. But anyway, the wedding night (so far as I understand it) involved the couple consumating the marriage and then the party began (of course I may have the wrong end of the stick) at any rate I think all of you would agree that sex is an important part of marriage but that the church is not going to undergo the physical act of sex with Jesus. what does this comparison between marriage and christ and his church mean then? I believe it means that part of sex is KNOWING your husband/wife in a deep way that is inexpressable in words and that at least part of the point of the comparison is it is a small reflection of the depth with which we will know Jesus when we see him face to face.

    I also believe (though I haven’t looked into finding scripture to support it) that sex is an act of worship of God or if not an act of worship in itself definately inspires us to worship. Though I will be a better athority on this topic when I have actually had sex rather than meerly discussing it with my fiance and parents and praying about it.

    to sum so far: as well as pleasure and procreation, sex is also in my opinion for worship (or inspiring it) and knowing your spouse in a very deep way that goes beyond words or maybe even anyother form of expression. after all it makes two people one flesh. some how through the act of sex they are made one flesh (and that is a perminant thing as implied by the comand not to have sex outside marriage and pauls comments about christians and prostitutes though again some may well disagree with me.

    as for contraception, I agree that onan’s sin was disobedience as stated in the article (at least I think it was it took me so long to read the thread I have forgotten). I do not wish to take the pill for the abortion side and also because I don’t like the idea of taking something that is going to mess with how my body works. I also am not happy about something that has a near 100% success rate as that seems to me to say I refuse to have children (though if someone wants to do so on grounds of health or something that is between them and God). I believe motives are very important and having a certian falure rate to what ever form used is in my view important you could even ask God to use it if he wants to. Also I have heard that using condoms is not the most comfortable method.

    Finally, we are not specifically told whether or not to use contraception therefore prayerful consideration of the topic is important. Base your decision on what you feel is the balance of scripture and on what God is saying to you. listen to your concience and if you are unsure pray about it till you are sure. Make sure that what you do is out of faith. in romans 14:22-23 paul says “So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.” he is talking about food sacrificed to idols but I believe the principle applies to all parts of the christian life.

    Grace and peace to you in Jesus.

    Amy Brighty    Jul 22, 05:18 AM    #
  43. Your dismissal of the Onan passage contradicts what you wrote below.

    Maybe Onan “wasn’t ready yet” to have a child. Maybe Onan didn’t feel that he could support another child.

    You see, the excuses you give could have been invoked by Onan – but our gracious Lord thought otherwise.

    Contraception is a sin. It is the sin of pharmakeia (usually wrongly translated sorcery) listed in Gal 5:19-21 and in Revelation.

    All the ancients (Christian and pagan) agreed that contraception was contrary to the natural law. All Christians (Patristic, Medieval, and Moderns) agree that it is sinful. Shoot even Luther and Calvin and Wesley thought it was sinful!

    All those who practice contraception cannot be saved – so says Saint Paul and so says the Holy Spirit in the Apocalypse.


    PS: the “pill” can be an abortifacient.

    Taylor Marshall    Jul 29, 04:02 AM    #
  44. Thanks, Kyle. This has been a lot of help. I just sent the article to one of my friends who’s been, sorta, confused. Actually, I just recently learnt that people had controversies over this stuff.
    As for me, I plan on having a lot of sex during marriage (unmarried virgin now) AND WOULD DEFINITELY NOT WANT TO BE POPPING BABIES EVERYTIME! Hey! I’ve keeping myself for marriage this long, and I’m definitely gonna make some serious fireworks when I get there. I don’t think God made sex feel so good if it’s only for the purposes of procreation. I’ve read lot of stuff about it and asked stuff from my parents too. The bonding, excitement,intense emotions, giddiness and stuff-just to make babies? I don’t think so. For me, I can hardly wait (doesn’t mean I won’t).
    I just think it’s left for couples to decide what kind of birth control they feel good with.
    Good work, again, Kyle.

    Star X    Aug 11, 12:06 PM    #
  45. The Bible clearly shows that sex is for pleasure and procreation. Natural law shows the same. God created humans in the likeness of HIMSELF. Every part of life, including the sexual union of a man and a woman. I don’t know where MODERN Christians derive that it must be pleasing to God that man should cut up something that was designed in HIS likeness in order to make it more palatable and pleasing for them. It is clear that the two parts pleasure and procreation were created in HIS likeness and go together.

    If Paul’s Corinthians passage is going to be used to justify the pleasurable aspects of sex then it can just as easily to be used to justify the procreative purposes. Since birth control was uncommon, pagan, and widely regarded as unnatural at the time it is, in my opinion, silly to think this passage in any way should even be considered in any to be a green light for birth control. Now, to interpret this passage as a green or red light for birth control is to miss the whole point of it! Paul (a celibate man) is encouraging believers to to abstain from sexual relations for a period of time in order to pray! He is saying bring your body into submission that you may have a clear and devoted prayer life! Paul saying that it is right to come back together for sex must equally mean procreation as it does pleasure. But again if that is what someone takes away from this passage they are missing the whole point of it. We must ask ourselves ‘why would it be good for my prayer life that I should sacrifice sex?’ even deeper “how is this pleasing to God for me sacrifice sex?”

    Where does life begin? Do we let pharmaceutical doctors tell us? what is sacred? what is created by God? what is mysterious? where does it begin? To me, the Christian who says to himself ‘what happens to my sperm and her egg (the image of God might I remind you) is of no importance and does not contain anything intrinsically marvelous, that Christian has a harmful and limited understanding of God’s intention and creation. The mystery and LIFE begins inside a man and inside a woman. My sperm contains the code to create a unique life. It is dissapointing to me that so many Christians say ‘Oh no no no nothing important happens until the sperm touches the egg!’ I think they will have a hard time explaining that to God when this is all over! (Thankfully God’s mercy knows no bounds)

    Even more disappointing and I will go as far as to say ignorant, is the willingness and ease that modern Christians will discredit the teachings of Catholic and Protestant church fathers and earlier Christians. I think the modern Christian is on new and shaky ground with this position on birth control and dissociating from church tradition and teaching is to remain in the dark.

    T. D. K.    Oct 3, 07:43 AM    #
  46. While the opinions and statements of the Early Church Fathers and the Fathers of the Reformation should never be disregarded lightly, we should also note that they are not infallible.

    For instance, Luther believed that the book of Revelation was not inspired of God; still, even in the Bible, Peter the Apostle refused to eat with Gentiles and was corrected by Paul.

    In my opinion, controversial matters like contraception, oral sex, etc., not addressed by the Word of God should be left to the consciences of the believers and considered through meaningful prayer, and thus following that principle from Romans.

    Personally, I have the attitude that if God did not want me to use contraception, I will obey him regardless because He knows what is best for me.

    Having said that, I can see no where in the Bible where it would be condemned to use contraception, except those that abort a living, fertilized egg.

    — Tom    Oct 19, 11:03 AM    #
  47. It is not condemned in the Bible, it was condemned and not practiced by all Christians for 2000 years! There was no need to write it down because Jews and early Christians didn’t practice it! They took it for granted as a violation of natural law! (Something this generation has lost all respect for, sadly even Christians who ought to be the biggest defenders of it). God’s creation spoke loud enough for the ancients as it still should for moderns!

    The fact that moderns disregard the practice of their Christian lineage so easily is an amazing phenomenon! It was around in the early church, It was preached against by people believing the same thing as we do! The idea that this is just a trend of the times, a changing and evolving definition of sin, something that the old christians and jews got completely wrong and only now is God being glorified by sex in its fullest, now that we can have it whenever we please without consequences; that idea is repulsive and absolutely scary that modern christians believe things like that about sin. “For 2000 years all that anti-contraception belief was totally wrong, we’ve got it right now!”

    Anyone questioning the use contraception, I ask you:
    “Do you consult other Christians about this issue? Do you care or regard what your pastor thinks about this issue? Would you ask him? Why did you read this thread?”
    The answer is probably: “Yes, since its a questionable practice, kind of controversial, and the Bible doesn’t have a clear rebuking of it, like it does other sins. I believe the Spirit will speak through other Christians, so yes I consult other Christians in addition to my own Biblical interpretation”

    “Then…. what do you make of the 2000 years of teaching against it and non- practice by regular Christians like yourself? Is it not relevant at all? Should it not be consulted? Perhaps consulted first? Is it null and void? Could it have any relevance in my life? Was their belief and practice just foolishness that God cared little about? Or, maybe did God tell them its bad then and now he’s telling us that its good? You are kidding yourself if you think that’s the case now. Now that contraception is so easy and personal, God must be saying it’s okay. Are issues like the redefining of God’s created sexual union, just a frivolous belief of the times?

    The bigger problem here is the picking and choosing of what Christian teaching we’re going apply. As if it’s all just one big grab bag. Catholics, Protestants, and Non-Denoms alike, all regarded the practice as abominable until VERY VERY recent times.

    This idea that God might tell one person its okay and tell another person that it is not is silly and modern. We could extend that same thinking into several preposterous examples. That type of thinking applied to Christian sexuality has allowed a zillion different beliefs and practices. One needs not look farther than the comments above to see that modern Christian sexuality is often a mess.

    Orthodox jews keep the old law and abstain from sex for 14? 15? days (not sure on the amount). It shouldn’t be that hard for the Christian man! His body ought to be in submission to his will! It’s hard though because we have been brought up believing this fallacy that marital sex only concerns children when we want it to. Instead we have Christian men who are dying to have sex, feel that they shouldn’t be denied sex, and have none of the responsibilities that all Christian men prior have had. Contraception is most definitely a redefining of the sex that God created. LOOK NO FURTHER THAN GENESIS CH.1 !

    I will refer to contraception from now on by its timeless and spiritual name, that is, the prohibition of existence. Who gave man the right to decide which of God’s can exist and cannot. This picture of God patting his sex-dog of a man on the back while existence is being denied where it would have otherwise been created, is absolutely a fallacy that has been conjured up by modern christians. “Good, I’m glad that sex-dog-man finally has the power, (its been so long!), to control what I created, so that he doesn’t have to struggle with children so much!”.

    Sex-dog-man: “Sorry God, I couldn’t devote myself to sexual control and had no desire to fear and preserve what you designed.”

    This surely lends itself to a low view of creation. Christians have always been concerned with the soul/body. This strange area of existence/non-existence is infinitely mysterious! Pro-life arguments fall apart if this mystery is no longer mysterious to christians. Modern Christians I feel are not seeing that everything, I mean EVERYTHING, they do has spiritual implications.

    If I cannot say that what God originally designed was what he intended and thus should be left alone, then an existence prohibitor cannot say it should be changed. Modern Christians are just drunk on cheap contraceptives and sex without consequences and because of that, we see them acting like drunkards and thinking that they can just ditch their history. That drunkenness is what is propagating these horrible beliefs that sex can just be redefined by whatever Christians of the time want it to be.

    T. D. K.    Nov 28, 04:59 PM    #
  48. Well I have been very curious on this subject… and though I originally believed that the Pill was fine. I have found viable evidence to argue for the opposing side. This argument presents the cold, hard facts on how Birth Control Pills work and is written by a competent, researching pastor.

    I do believe we should not have children if we cannot afford them..but programs like Natural Family Planning should be used.

    If you are contemplating use of Birth Control, please read this for more information:

    — Haley    Dec 6, 06:14 PM    #
  49. Hi, my name is Kristine, and I just wanted to say that I liked the article, it was very thought provoking. I do have a question though. What about using birth control pills for medical reasons? I have a lot of pain, and I found the pill to be the best thing I took. That was before I was saved. Now, I’m just wondering if its okay to take it again. Any thoughts?

    Kristine    Dec 8, 07:20 PM    #
  50. I agree with your arguement, but I also think that it is essential to know the facts about the particular form of birth control you are planning on using. If the type of birth control is abortifacient in nature (which ALL hormonal birth controls are), then that would be wrong. Truly contraceptive methods, like barriers and the Natural Family Planning method do not cause harm to an already concieved child like hormonal methods potentially do.

    If the birth control method you are using changes the “lining of the uterus”, “sheds the uterus wall”, or otherwise affects the endomitrium, it is potentially abortifacient (which means causes abortions!) and should not be used by Christians. Any pill or otherwise with progestin or any other form of artificial progesterone should be avoided.

    I have actually had a doctor tell me that the ‘minipill’ does not have the same abortifacient qualities that other pills have, which is just plain WRONG, so don’t depend upon your doctor to know all the facts.

    “My people perish for lack of knowledge.”
    -God (Hosea 4:6)

    Kristi    Feb 8, 10:12 AM    #
  51. World health organization – women who use the most common form of oral contraception – 20% more likely to get breast cancer.

    women who use it for 4 years – 54% MORE LIKELY TO GET BREAST CANCER


    Cigarettes don’t seem that bad anymore.

    Your body is a temple?

    How badly do you need pleasure?

    Please remember that God created your sexual organs to work exactly as they should. THAT is his image. THAT must be pleasing to him.

    It is probably much more pleasing to God to abstain from sex for 15 or so days, and dedicate it to Him (He commanded ancient Jews to btw), than to have sex everyday as often as you can, ignorant of the fact that you are affirming pleasure at the cost of being against life.

    You think THAT affirms love? You think that THAT forms your expression of love in a marriage?

    Imitate Christ- Christ never had sex. He conquered that need of his flesh. Our hero St. Paul was celibate. Imitate him as he calls the faithful to do. It will do you a great deal of good.

    Imitate Christ! Abstain from sex in a marriage as much as you can! It’s not the point of marriage! Nowhere does it say that marriage means you can have as much sex as you please! This is a modern PROTESTANT delusion. Sex can be a grace from God but we are to BEAT OUR FLESH INTO SUBMISSION! The new man, who takes on the likeness of Christ, controls every urge of his body!

    Stop altering God’s design for the sake of fleeting, cheap, pleasure!

    Stop cutting out your sexual organs, your IMAGE OF GOD transmitters, for the sake of pleasure!

    Accept creation

    T. D. K.    Mar 1, 09:07 PM    #
  52. I came across your article when searching verses about having children along with birth control. I honestly want to believe birth control is ok but Im not sure. I am married with one child already, we currently do use birth control, pill version, which after reading article and comments, i plan to pray about our version of birth control. So anway we are now discussing wether we want another child, and honestly i have no peace about either choice. With all of that being said I believe if you are doing wrong(as a christain) the holy spirit will Convict you of your sins. If a couple uses birth control and feels bad about it, chances are they are sinning. If they have prayed about it and feel ok with that decision, and have no been convicted, i dont feel they are sinning. This being what they truly feel, not what they protray or lie to make excuses for actions. I am not sure where i stand on this issue. I am young in my Christian beliefs and still have so much to learn. As of right now, i read, i pray and wait to hear what God says. If i am sinning, God will let me know. And a sin for me may not be a sin for somebody else, he convicts us of different things. I am not at a point in my faith to be able to say one way is wrong and another is right… thank you for writing this article, it has made me question the type of birth control we use. Still indecisive of wether or not we will stop using birth contorl and actively start trying for another child..

    Jennifer M    Mar 18, 05:20 PM    #
  53. Here are a list of questions and satements I have about this issue:

    What if a husband gives his wife an orgasm without having intercourse and no seed is wasted? Is this then okay because no seed is wasted? God obviously created part of the female and male for pleasure as well as procreation.

    What about in Leviticus 15:16-18 when it reads as follows, ““If a man has an emission of semen, he shall bathe his whole body in water and be unclean until the evening. And every garment and every skin on which the semen comes shall be washed with water and be unclean until the evening. If a man lies with a woman and has an emission of semen, both of them shall bathe themselves in water and be unclean until the evening. (Leviticus 15:16-18 ESV)”

    It seems that in this Scripture that an emission of semen can happen while lying with one’s wife, or in other ways. But it does not seem to be talking about a nocturnal emission in this passage, because later in Dueteronomy it says,

    “If any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp, but when evening comes, he shall bathe himself in water, and as the sun sets, he may come inside the camp. (Deuteronomy 23:10, 11 ESV)

    So it seems that emissions happened apart from nocturnal emissions, or even vaginal intercourse with one’s wife. Could this be from foreplay within the context of marriage? Was it always an accident? The Bible doesn’t seem to say.

    Also, in the Leviticus passage(listed above) it says that semen made contact with other things that were outside of the body: clothes, garments, etc. So it seems possible that a woman could have excited her husband to the point of orgasm without lying with him.

    Now I know many may say, “well look at the result…they were declared unclean.” but if you look at the texts, even a man lying with his wife made him unclean for the whole day. And Christ fulfilled the law (Matt. 5:17).

    So is it sin to have sex with your wife? No. But in the old testament they were unclean for a day. Yet they were also unclean for a day when they had an emission of semen (even when it was not during intercourse or a nocturnal emission). So the same law governed both the spilling of seed and a man lying with his wife. But in Christ the law is fulfilled and we are made clean.

    Therefore is it wrong to have sex with your spouse? Are you unclean in God’s eyes? Or did Christ fulfill the law?

    I just wonder if the same thoughts apply for an emission of semen, whether during a nocturnal emission, marital intercourse, or any other type of emission within the covenant of marriage. (Please notice that I believe any sexual act outside of the monagamous, heterosexual, marital covenant in undoubtedly wrong).

    Note: I am not agreeing with self-masturbation because I believe it leads to self service and lust of the heart in a way that takes away from the marriage bed.

    I think the most alarming thing to me in this whole debate are the statements from the church fathers. I do think it’s quite interesting that the majority of church history disagrees with contraception and believe its something we should pray about as Christ followers (although I would like to hear what Christ or Paul would have to say about it). But, after reading some of their points, it seems that the Scriptures they referenced we’re stretched a little bit, and possibly even taken out of context.

    Not to mention that there are other things that have been outlawed in the church until the last few decades that were always viewed as sinful, one is instruments: drums, electric guitars, Ect. Which are now used for worshipping God.

    Is the real question…where is your heart on this matter? Are you just being selfish and don’t want to have kids, or being wise as to when to have them?

    Another note: I don’t believe in any type of abortive birth control. Simply blocking (condom, etc.) or withdrawal. Still wondering if that’s okay though considering this debate.

    Was Paul selfish to forgo marriage and a family for the sake of the Gospel? Was he evil for that? Did the overseers of churches have as many kids as possible so that they would have less time to do God’s work? Is it either have a family, or sprea the Gospel? I wonder how many kids Peter had. He WAS married.

    Are women wasting their eggs every month? Is the image of God marred because of the monthly cycle?

    Just some questions for you all. Let me know your thoughts church!!!

    — Brandon    Mar 21, 06:41 AM    #
  54. Brandon, I have lots of thoughts about this and was wondering these same things until I was led to a profound conclusion. Feel free to email me if you want to discuss it, it will be easier than on this thread. God bless!

    T. D. K.    Mar 23, 01:48 PM    #
  55. Kyle,
    Thank you for this well written article, and your willingness to hear opposing arguments. My current interest in this matter arises from a difference in opinion with the young woman who God has blessed me with the opportunity to know and explore whether His will is for us to marry. Much of this page has been beneficial, and your grace in responding to replies has been wonderful. I sure do wish the people who condemn others on the basis of what they read online would stop their works-righteousness based condemnations. that’s an issue for a different article though.

    Dave    Apr 1, 06:57 PM    #
  56. With all due respect, I don’t understand why you keep saying parents who can “responsibly” afford their children. The Bible is so clear on the Lord wanting a relationship with us. Such an intense relationship that we are one with Him as He is one with the Father. That is so intense! If we trust Him with our eternal salvation, how can we not trust Him with our bodies? The Bible is clear that the Lord is sovereign over the womb. That He opens and closes it at His will and as His children, His heirs, I think it is more then fair to assume He listens to and answers our requests, even if it’s about children.
    (eg. Hannah, Tamar, Leah, etc etc). I don’t believe NOT having biological children is sinful but I think it’s such a bummer when His own children don’t trust Him with their whole lives… body, finances, clothing, food, everything. (remember Jesus’ story of the sparrows and lilies of the field?) You should look into George Muller, he was a man who had nothing and yet he was able to take care of thousands…thousands!, of orphans, all by prayer, faith and loving Jesus. I’d rather have that relationship with Jesus (while at the same time working as hard as I can) then be a “responsible” Christian and decide on my own terms what I can or can not handle. Again, I don’t think it’s a sin issue per se, just a missing out on a faith filled, Spirit filled, full, all encompassing love relationship with the Lord. You know??

    — Linds    May 24, 11:49 AM    #
  57. I think you make some really good points Kyle. Personally, this whole contraceptive debate, among other issues, turned me off to Catholicism. I watched a friend drive himself crazy and destroy a beautiful relationship because the woman he planned to marry a few years after his first wife died did not want to have more children in her fifties, for several reasons. He was torn between being with her and being true to his Faith. Why would a loving God put a person in such a predicament? I no longer attend any church, I’m bitter towards religion in general, and becoming more skeptic everyday. I think the concept that people are really expected to harness their natural drives to such a harsh degree to be unrealistic, as I have tried many times and failed myself. Why would God want us to be so torn internally? Christ did away with the letter of the law and replaced it with the spirit of the law. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. In other words, get the hell out of everyone else’s bedroom and worry about yourselves. I have come to the point where I’m not even sure that I believe the Bible to be 100% divinely inspired. I don’t even know if I will continue to identify myself as a Christian. I just know that God loves me. The less silly rules I try to put on myself and others, and the more I focus on serving others, the more free I feel spiritually. I’ll probably get some not so open minded replies, and I don’t care. I look at this argument and sometimes I just say to myself , who gives a shit?

    — Nick    May 24, 02:02 PM    #
  58. We haven’t been using birth control for quite a while now and it’s been rough at times but it’s been a blessing too. We only ever used barrier contraceptives but I never felt right about it in my spirit. I think about when God rescued the Israelites from captivity they were in huge trouble for complaining and look how bad they had it! Wouldn’t WE complain if we and our children only had one type of food to eat and little water and no air conditioning in the hot desert?? It seems obvious to me that we expect a cushy life! It also seems very obvious that birth control was not used in the old days. Jacob even told Leah when she asked him to give her a baby “Am I in the place of God??” meaning it just plain ole wasn’t up to him. Whoever said women who don’t use birth control would have 60 kids each must have been 10 years old. A woman is only naturally fertile for a few days out of each month, and of course once she gets pregnant (which takes 9 months, generally, out of her fertile time) she can’t get pregnant and she doesn’t usually bounce back right away either. If you breastfeed extensively (which we KNOW the ladies of the Bible did do) you may not be fertile again for 12-14 months. For women who feed on demand this is the average. Plus many women have secondary infertility. The average number of children per household for people who do not use birth control is 7 according to my sociology textbook. I have 5 and I’m a selfish person who likes things easy, and I have to say 7 doesn’t even sound that bad to me. Also, we are way below the poverty line. If we had looked at it in our own understanding of what we could “afford” NONE of our children would be here. But we are so very glad they ARE here!! For us money came WHEN we needed it, not BEFORE. Jesus did say not to worry about your life – not what you will eat or wear, and not about money because He says “the pagans run after these things,” and the Lord knows that we need them! But seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you. We need to be seeking God first. For me the real deal-sealer is the way the Bible talks about God opening and closing the womb. He has this power. He reserves the power of creation and we can only be partners in it. As for the children in Africa, we are all being very mislead and placated on this topic. The government is exploiting these people, OUR companies are exploiting these people, and we are being lied to saying if we just give them birth control everything will work out. Well it does NOT work out because if you give a poor African woman birth control not only is she still starving, but now she will have no one to help her tend her fields to survive, no one to care for her in old age. But we keep on exploiting her and throwing condoms at the situation, which in effect is nothing but genocide! The Bible tells us to work very hard, it tells us to share with other Christians, so if we are not doing these things how can we then blame God for our poverty and come up with solutions that have nothing to do with trusting God? We sing “I surrender all” and “Lord I trust You” but do we really? If God told you to go out as a missionary would you go or would you “use your God-given reason” to say “Gee that is too dangerous and I believe God wants me to be happy instead.” Similarly I believe if God calls you to raise up children for His kingdom you can’t sit around fretting about the costs. Let’s be honest, even a bed-bound mother can talk to her children about Christ. Even an infirm mother can play gospel tunes on the radio and fathers are parents too!! If we say birth control is the only responsible thing then we are calling our Biblical foreparents irresponsible because they did not use it in worse circumstances than we are in (ie, no electricity, no fans, no plumbing, how many of us in our own reason would have ANY kids in this situation?). You say the Bible never comes right out and says birth control is a sin but it never comes right down and says child molestation is a sin either and for good reason – it was so wicked people wouldn’t even THINK of doing it and they felt the same about birth control. And I think all this touchy-feely nonsense about how you don’t “feel” convicted about a particular sin has been way over used. People even use it to justify living in sin with their GF/BF and many other terrible sins. If you trust your “feelings” more than God, then it is not God you worship, but yourself.

    Karen    Jul 10, 03:43 AM    #
  59. Wow, that was powerful, Linds. Agreed. It’s surely a messy subject, though, because it really does fall back on the individual and his/her relationship with Jesus. Just like any other situation, couples must fall back on that because there’s no moral law in place. I’m about to get married myself and am doing some serious soul-searching to figure out why I would or wouldn’t use BC.

    Anyways, thanks for the post, Mr. Skeptical Christian. Keep ‘em coming.

    Ford    Dec 13, 10:27 AM    #
  60. I think that God expects us to have some common sense. Sex is a pleasurable, natural part of marriage that helps solidify what God has brought together.
    T.D.K- the ancient Jews and early Christians didn’t have cancer treatment, aspirin, or Ivory soap. They also didn’t have vaccinations or antibacterial soaps. Should we avoid those, as well? By your logic, it would be God’s will for children to contract measles and die when there are medical treatments that can prevent them.
    There are times in a woman’s life that she should not get pregnant. Medically speaking, it is damaging to the female body to be impregnated within two years of giving birth.
    God wants married people to enjoy one another and to make love- and yes, it is love making and not just sex when it is done right for the emotional bonding- and he has given us the smarts, common sense and medical technology to ensure that we can please and enjoy our spouses the way the Lord created us- and to choose when to bring a child into His world as a worship to Him.

    — Jenni    Dec 27, 04:56 PM    #
  61. Jenni,

    To use contraception would not be to enjoy a spouse the way God made you. It is actually a denial of sexual intercourse as way God designed. It has at the heart of it a rejection of the nature that God designed. It banishes souls from existence in exchange for the temporary. It is a denial of the total being of the sexes. It also loses all of its Christo-centric meaning: Does Christ contracept his Bride? Does he withhold parts of himself from her in the name of convenience?

    Medical advances are not the end all be all for a Christian. I am not advocating that we return to ancient practices of medicine in any way, I’m quite aware that modern medice is different from ancient medicine. It’s a question of what we have the authority to use it for.

    The way you find comfort in God giving “us” the “smarts” to mold nature into more of what we want it be is a bit strange to me, even chilling. Would there be anything wrong test-tube babies then? What about human cloning? What about breeding a super race? These could end up being massively pleasurable to our sex lives down the road, just as long as we keep getting smarter…

    Also, I am very aware of the complications that make pregnancy life threatening, but that is not what we’re talking about here are we? The moral question about what do to with a pregnancy that will end in the death of either a mother or a baby… is not what we’re talking about. What we have been talking about, is using contraception to provide sex without babies. The two are entirely different.

    The beginnings of human life are quite different from a flu shot. The implications of contraceptive pill are different from the implications of a c-section. Maybe our society doesn’t see this anymore though.

    t    Feb 14, 07:45 PM    #
  62. I’ve never quite understood why people feel the need to lie when they believe they’re right. In response to TDK, SOME studies show that oral contraceptives increase the risk of certain types of cancer (breast, cervical and liver). Those studies generally use data from a time when pills had a higher level of hormones. More recent data suggests that modern pills do not substantially increase cancer risk, and, in fact, may substantially decrease the risk of conditions like ovarian and uterine cancer. . . which are much harder to diagnose and treat anyway. So, medically, your argument has no merit.

    — KBW    Mar 13, 11:46 AM    #
  63. First off i will say I am on the fence with this subject. So, After reading about half of these comments, I slightly lean toward the side of birth control being ok. Not because I want to use it for selfish gain, but simply due to the fact that those who don’t oppose it are very open minded and only want to find out what is truly right so we can obey, and those who oppose it are adding to God’s word, are very judgemental, and completely dispose of the idea that they may be wrong. I cannot wholefully explain to all of you my absolute sadness that so many of you fight for what you think is right, in such a wrong way. You cannot fulfill any part of God’s plan without doing it his way. And by you condemning those who don’t oppose birth control, are you any better if one sin is no different than the next? God bless all of you.

    — Raymond    Mar 27, 08:40 PM    #
  64. Thanks for sharing. A well-done defense of birth control.

    Jennifer    Apr 25, 06:45 AM    #
  65. InvitationToVisit:

    Author    Oct 3, 05:33 PM    #
  66. I think that if you read 1 Corinthians 7:6 (the verse you didn’t quote) you would find that your use of the word “mandatory” is out of harmony with the word of God. Verse 6 says that Paul gave that as a permission, NOT A COMMANDMENT. We have a child that we cannot properly provide for because my wife pulled that verse on me and I didn’t know that it was only a suggestion, and not a law. Irresponsibility is sinful.

    Jack Ravn    Mar 11, 05:45 PM    #
  67. The Scripture says that Onan was put to death for what he DID, not for what he did NOT.
    What he DID: Began the sex act, interrupted it, withdrew and “destroyed” the semen on the ground.
    What he DIDN’T: Completed the sex act by depositing the semen within Tamar’s reproductive tract.
    Onan used Tamar as a masturbator uses his fist, a sock, a piece of meat.
    A law has to be published but once to be valid, in force and effect. That we are not provided with a dozen instances of God executing onanists proves nothing. One expression of the law is sufficient. One example of violation of a law and subsequent punishment is more than sufficient.
    The law “be fruitful and multiply” is not part of the law of Moses, which was nailed to the cross. It was given to our first parents and then again to our Noachian parents.
    That the laws given before Moses were not abrogated by the cross is demonstrated by Jesus’ dismissal of Moses’ concession to the hard of heart among the Israelites to divorce their wives, returning to the original law of permanence of marriage. This law is referenced by Paul well after the cross, being recorded in Romans 7:2, 3, as remaining in force.
    The context in most English Bibles indicates that the LORD struck Onan dead instantly upon the semen striking the ground, not after persistent repetition of the offense.
    The context also indicates, due to similarity of wording, that Er had been killed for the same act, that of spilling his semen on the ground after interrupting the sex act with Tamar. He had no levirate duty and Judah had not commanded him to have sex with Tamar. Er produced no child from Tamar, who was quite evidently fertile as she was impregnated by a single copulation by Judah. Further, Judah withheld his third half-Canaanite son, Shelah, from Tamar, fearing that Shelah would die if he had sex with Tamar. The three Canaanite sons may have learned the contraceptive technique from their Canaanite mother or her people. Judah’s fourth and fifth sons were full Israelites and were raised by their Israelite mother, Tamar, whose people obeyed the law (most of them most of the time).

    Mac    Oct 23, 09:22 PM    #
  68. “Good” thing about NFP: According to the Sacred Congregation the good thing about NFP (then called “rhythm”) is that it is less IMmoral than Onanism, the most popular contraceptive practice among CINOs.
    Not as sinful, eh, is it? If ol’ Onan had been informed by God that he could have practiced NFP, he could have lived a full life instead of being slain by God when his semen hit the ground.

    Mac    Nov 10, 11:05 PM    #
  69. To those who believe that procreation is a must because that is the natural way that sex works, and because sex is a function of man who was created in God’s likeness, I have a new command from the Lord which is valid according to your arguments: DON“T CUT YOUR HAIR! God created your hair to naturally grow to extreme lengths. If God wanted men to have short hair, he’d have created a natural means by which man’s hair remained short. Instead man TRAMPLES upon that which is holy and good by LACERATING man’s hair and throwing it away as though it were worthless. Since man is created in the likeness of God, then every natural function of man’s body is holy and shouldn’t be altered. Hair naturally grows to reach the floor, and God created it that way. Who are we to shorten the length of our purposefully given hair when it’s SUPPOSED to grow that long?!

    ^ This paragraph is satirical of course. Man was made in God’s likeness, that doesn’t mean every physical aspect, function, or tendency of man must be regarded as sacred and unchangeable, else we must put down our scissors and let our hair grow to tremendous lengths. It was, after all, created by God to grow that long.

    — Vince    Mar 15, 05:04 PM    #
  70. Also in response to Mac: you said there were contextual indications that Er also was guilty of the same act. That is simply a lie.

    6 And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.
    7 And Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him.

    9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
    10 And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

    If by “similarity of wording” you mean the words “God slew” then yes there is similarity of wording. This indicates nothing about Er committing the same sin.

    To T.D.K. I quote you saying, “I don’t know where MODERN Christians derive that it must be pleasing to God that man should cut up something that was designed in HIS likeness in order to make it more palatable and pleasing for them.”

    I point you towards my previous argument on hair as being part of God’s likeness. I also found it very humorous that you used the specific words “cut up something that was designed in HIS likeness” because in a more literal sense that is exactly what everybody who’s ever gotten a haircut has done, they literally “cut up” their hair which was made in God’s likeness. Funny how well that choice of wording suited this point haha :)

    — Vince    Mar 15, 06:53 PM    #
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